Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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