I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
