While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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