...so i touched it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
