ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
