is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
