when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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