JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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