I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
