Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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