If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize