This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
