Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.

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(585): View more from New York

you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?

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(708): View more from Illinois

My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.

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(909): View more from California

I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.

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