There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman