alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need a beard to bite.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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