It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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