Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
try to milk me bitch
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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