TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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