when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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