seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
