This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
