That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize