I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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