i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
