Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
