Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
