i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
