It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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