i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
