it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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