If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
