So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize