Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
