stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
