I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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