i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
