well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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