its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize