Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
