Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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