I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
