This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
