I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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