this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
