All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
