Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
