don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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