This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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