Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
being pregnant is like rehab
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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