people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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