he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
