i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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