Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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