shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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