We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
