I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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