i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
