I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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