Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
