I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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