Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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