It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
