omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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