he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
