Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
