True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this hospital has no fireball
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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